Tagged: sex

THIS IS FOR LOVERS

I love a creepy/unintentionally hilarious documentary about freaks, and Channel 4 are usually pretty good at delivering. Fresh off the cringing, shuddering heels of my faves, 15 Stone Babies and My Fat Fetish, came ‘Dogging Tales’. For a documentary about rough couples shagging in a cold forest off a motorway, I wasn’t expecting it to be so ~artsy~, it’s more like a weirdly tense film than a standard ‘ha-ha-weirdos’ documentary. Also, a particular highlight was the participants all wearing animal masks reminiscent of those in the Anna Sui AW11 show:

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This is Les. I don’t know what freaked me out more, his love of dogging, his having 18 children, or the fact he was willing to be filmed using Lynx.
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McSandwich
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This is Les’ girlfriend, who is quite clearly on the verge of some sort of breakdown. I’m not sure how much her eyeshadow would really show up in headlights but A+ for effort.

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World’s Happiest Doggers via Anna Sui.

The most obvious example of fashion endorsing a love for the great outdoors is ¬†Steven Meisel’s 2008 editorial for V magazine (originally refused by Vogue Italia), simply entitled ‘Dogging’:

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WHAT I WORE TODAY VOL.V

ImageHAPPY FAKE FRIDAY! This is one of my favourite office friendly “I really want to go out and get proper para” looks, from Viktor and Rolf. The neutral colour palette blends in well with the walls in my office, there’s a cheeky flash of thigh for that ‘these shorts are really very desk-sex compatible’ look that I always favour on a Friday (it tends to distract from my counting-down-the-minutes facial expression). The ruffles also really hide the fact I have no tits, which sometimes gives me a very ladyboy-esque look on the whole, which is why the heels are so perfect. The gloves are also a favourite feature of mine as they save me getting 4am nightbus McDonalds under my nails. WIN WIN!

AW13 / PFW / ROUND-UP

Ahhh bonjour ma petite tasse! Regardez-vous ma blog post de Paris Fashion Week! As you can tell, I’m basically fluent in French, it’s one of my many talents. For those not as clever as me at French, here’s a round-up of the sartorial offerings from Paris Fashion Week.

STOP. BALMAIN TIME! An 80s wipe-clean wonderland, Balmain was every theatrical tin-foil fashion hope and more, we have Balmain in at my work all the time, can’t wait to try and shoe-horn myself into the amazing waistcoat outfit on the right, rip it, and be evicted because I can’t pay for it.¬†ASPIRATIONAL!

Balmain

Balmain

Alexander Wang’s much anticipated first collection since his controversial appointment at Balenciaga. And it wasn’t horrible. It’s still very much Wang-esque (not a word I’ll use again, promise) but with undeniable Christobal influence. I liked it, it’s a nice return to the classic, clean Balenciaga, rather than the ultra modernism Ghesquiere brought with his metal leggings/Egyptofunk/riding hats etc, which I loved, but I don’t think Wang could have followed on from or replicated in the same vein without it looking like some kind of shit Project Runway ~modernism~ challenge.

Balenciaga

Balenciaga

Sacai

Sacai

I know leather panelling has been done over and over and over, but I want this, all of this, and variations of this, forever.

Neil Barrett

Neil Barrett

Really enjoying the Brave New World/Handmaid’s Tale minimal ~dystopian sexuality~ here, and how could I not love the wimple. I’m all about a wimple. I’m not ususally a huge fan of Mugler, but the simplicity, and the murky blue with crisp white, speaks to my inner future gimp.

Mugler

Mugler

Manish Arora

Manish Arora

Kenzo

Kenzo

Jean-Charles de Castelbajac

Jean-Charles de Castelbajac

Each season Givenchy is usually my go-to, but the disparity between the menswear (99% of the time, amazing) and the womenswear (67% of the time, amazing) starts to show more and more. I love the floral leather biker and the quilted bomber, super, but the random sequinned arm? The cheap ill-fitting mesh? The shiny polka-dots? This both confuses and upsets me.

Givenchy

Givenchy

These are my dream outfits until I’m thin enough to slip under my office door, rather than walking through it. Probably not very practical day to day (getting closed in bus doors, dropping Tesco Value lasagne down yourself, cycling – all trials I face daily) but commanding and beautiful all the same. I do miss the structured, body-con Pugh of olde, but a shift in silhouette hasn’t lost the dark drama he’s built his brand on.

Gareth Pugh

Gareth Pugh

Felipe Oliviera Baptista

Felipe Oliviera Baptista

Devastee

Devastee

Acne

Acne

Yohji Yamamoto

Yohji Yamamoto

I’m not ususally a fan of Valentino, not nearly enough black, leather or androgyny for me, but this china plate-esque collection has reminded me that I AM A GIRL, HERE ME SQUEAL!

Valentino

Valentino

Do you feel dizzy? Disorientated? It might be to do with Yves Saint Laurent spinning so hard in his grave that the Earth is turning faster than usual. #SOFTGRUNGELAURENT HAS STRUCK AGAIN. Hedi’s latest collection (and we know how much I enjoyed his last menswear offering) has been met with a resounding NON from critics, and rightly so. ¬†His access to the Topshop throw-out must be STOPPED.

Saint Laurent Paris

Saint Laurent Paris

This season marks Claire Wright Keller’s fourth at the helm of Chloe, and it’s definitely her best yet. Probably my favourite collection from Paris, simple and minimal with great tailoring and a perfect colour palette.

Chloe

Chloe

Chloe

Chloe

Who invented the tartan laundry bag? Has anyone got his email? He’s definitely been ripped off at Celine. Blatant plagiarism aside, Celine was it’s usual super self, a really nice palette and pleasing oversized yet tailored shapes (so excited to put on 15 stone before winter and be able to shop at Celine rather than Millets!).

Celine

Celine