Another day closer to Christmas, another day I’m shocked at the injustice that I don’t wake up to a pile of presents EVERY day. Here’s part two of 25 things that I will accept as gifts. There’s still time, people!
Oversized shearling jacket, Acne
One of my absolute favourite Swedish exports (after ABBA and one of my best friends), since its founding in 1996, Acne has become a go-to for their jackets. The classic, shearling collar and pale pink biker jackets have all been a permanent fixture in my ‘how much money could I get if I sold my kidney?’ daydreams for the past few years. I love this oversized flight jacket, I generally always go for jackets at least one size up, I generally always wear bodycon skirts or skinny jeans so larger proportions on top balance this out. Also this looks warm enough that waiting for a night bus on New Years Eve won’t make me want to open a vein in the bath. Good times!
Religion shirt-dress, Topshop
I love a shirt dress. This collarless printed bad-boy ticks all the boxes. Oversized enough that you can layer underneath for winter, or avoid drowning in your own sweat in the summer, formal enough for work but comfortable enough for a hangover. The only thing I’m not mad about is the asymmetric drape hem, which I am already having premonitions of having to constantly fish out of the toilet/tube doors, but if you’re not an idiot like me, this Ann Demeulemeester-esque piece is defs a winner.
Givenchy spazzolato shoes, LN-CC
I’m generally very fussy when it comes to shoes. First rule, always boots. Any heel that isn’t wider than one inch causes ‘creative differences’ between me and gravity. Second rule, always black. No exceptions. I love the chunky heel on these, statement/metal heels have become a catwalk fixture for the past few seasons with the highstreet going particularly mad over them (I had a great pair pair from Zara with a silver chunky heel…obvz someone homeless is wearing them now after I left them on the nightbus…). I’ve mentioned before that I’m not the tallest tree in the forest, but the heel on these is just the right height for a confidence boost without making me feel like I’m in bad drag.
Messenger bag, Zara
Zara is somewhat renowned for its ‘interpretations’ of designer wear. The menswear in particular has taken a fair few Givenchy-print bullest to the face over the past few seasons, and the structured boxy shape of this bag is definitely reminiscent of Givenchy/Alexander Wang. Which isn’t a bad thing at all, especially when you don’t have £800+ spare change knocking around in your back pockets.
Peanut Butter PopTarts
I’m not sorry.
A non-tanline friendly Milla Jovovich as a proper little mental in Fifth Element
One of my favourite collections of his for a long time – Alexander Wang’s SS13 optical illusion mesh and leather monochrome cut-out pieces
Always a big player in the designer interpretation game, ASOS, £38
In general I’m always a bit dubious about models as stylistic inspiration as I can never really trust if it’s their wardrobe I want or their crazy-good genes (this does not include mentalist Hanne Gaby, who as I’ve said before, has an amazing wardrobe but does look a lot like a dinosaur), but #unpopularopinion – I ‘m not actually an Aldridge #stan at all so I can let myself off on this one.
As with all of my WCIBY crushes, Ruby’s style is mostly monochromatic, androgynous and built around staple basics. ALL GD THINGS. Another reason I’m a big fan of her street style is that despite being 8ft 3ins tall and weighing the same as a bag of flour, her sartorial choices aren’t things that can only be carried off by genetic freaks, but are universally wearable (apart from maybe the microscooter).
The sales are what God created on the 8th day, to make the horrible equation of ‘wanting + buying = 20p noodles for the rest of the month’ easier on us all, probably after spending his rest day looking at clothes he couldn’t afford. The smug thrill of getting something with a major fist-bump discount is an emotion so amazing that it can only be topped by telling people about it. LN-CC has long been a favourite of mine for menswear and is always my first go-to during the sales, particularly as it means I can shop from the comfort of my freezing office rather than dragging my sweating, harrassed, afro’d corpse around actual shops. Here’s my pick of the best of the current sale stock:
I’ve been really heinous at this blogging lark lately, partly because #realliferesponsibility is fly-kicking me in the head slightly but also partly for EXCITING (and somewhat unbelievable) REASONS!1!!1 which I can hopefully post about later this week. Anyway, here are some nicely dressed boycats in the meantime.
It felt like forever since I punched myself in the face about not being someone else, and then I remembered amazing Essix goff Hannah Marshall.
For the uninitiated, H-Marsh is a Colchester graduated British womenswear designer known for bringing the sexy back to constructed looks, a fondness for leather and her predication for black, black and more black.
Showing since 2007, celebrity fans include Erin O’Connor, Naomi Campbell, Florence Welch, and
Stephen Fry Romy off the xx, amongst others. As you would imagine, her personal style is a mirror of her designs – constructed layering, and all black everything. I mostly wear black, there’s just something about a full black look that feels really clean, but one thing I’m always a bit conscious of is looking like some sort of Bedouin encampment when you can’t distinguish between layers at a distance the way you can if you’re wearing colour. Hannah goes to show that all black looks don’t have to swamp, and also that you don’t have to be 8 ft 9 and having a good time for them to look good. Also, that fringe! This is the kind of fringe I always ask for, yet never get. All I want in life is to not come out of the hairdressers looking like Lisa from Girl bloody Uninterrupted, but apparently this is unattainable. I swear they all just take advantage of the fact I don’t have my glasses on. ANYWAY, NICE CLOTHES AND THAT.