Another day closer to Christmas, another day I’m shocked at the injustice that I don’t wake up to a pile of presents EVERY day. Here’s part two of 25 things that I will accept as gifts. There’s still time, people!
Oversized shearling jacket, Acne
One of my absolute favourite Swedish exports (after ABBA and one of my best friends), since its founding in 1996, Acne has become a go-to for their jackets. The classic, shearling collar and pale pink biker jackets have all been a permanent fixture in my ‘how much money could I get if I sold my kidney?’ daydreams for the past few years. I love this oversized flight jacket, I generally always go for jackets at least one size up, I generally always wear bodycon skirts or skinny jeans so larger proportions on top balance this out. Also this looks warm enough that waiting for a night bus on New Years Eve won’t make me want to open a vein in the bath. Good times!
Religion shirt-dress, Topshop
I love a shirt dress. This collarless printed bad-boy ticks all the boxes. Oversized enough that you can layer underneath for winter, or avoid drowning in your own sweat in the summer, formal enough for work but comfortable enough for a hangover. The only thing I’m not mad about is the asymmetric drape hem, which I am already having premonitions of having to constantly fish out of the toilet/tube doors, but if you’re not an idiot like me, this Ann Demeulemeester-esque piece is defs a winner.
Givenchy spazzolato shoes, LN-CC
I’m generally very fussy when it comes to shoes. First rule, always boots. Any heel that isn’t wider than one inch causes ‘creative differences’ between me and gravity. Second rule, always black. No exceptions. I love the chunky heel on these, statement/metal heels have become a catwalk fixture for the past few seasons with the highstreet going particularly mad over them (I had a great pair pair from Zara with a silver chunky heel…obvz someone homeless is wearing them now after I left them on the nightbus…). I’ve mentioned before that I’m not the tallest tree in the forest, but the heel on these is just the right height for a confidence boost without making me feel like I’m in bad drag.
Messenger bag, Zara
Zara is somewhat renowned for its ‘interpretations’ of designer wear. The menswear in particular has taken a fair few Givenchy-print bullest to the face over the past few seasons, and the structured boxy shape of this bag is definitely reminiscent of Givenchy/Alexander Wang. Which isn’t a bad thing at all, especially when you don’t have £800+ spare change knocking around in your back pockets.
Peanut Butter PopTarts
I’m not sorry.
The sales are what God created on the 8th day, to make the horrible equation of ‘wanting + buying = 20p noodles for the rest of the month’ easier on us all, probably after spending his rest day looking at clothes he couldn’t afford. The smug thrill of getting something with a major fist-bump discount is an emotion so amazing that it can only be topped by telling people about it. LN-CC has long been a favourite of mine for menswear and is always my first go-to during the sales, particularly as it means I can shop from the comfort of my freezing office rather than dragging my sweating, harrassed, afro’d corpse around actual shops. Here’s my pick of the best of the current sale stock:
I’m currently sat at my desk at work trying not to be sick all over myself and others. I’m convinced these are my final days. As I approach death, the light in my eyes dimming and my heart grudgingly sputtering along , here’s a load of reet nice things that would make me feel 100% better.
When I’m a broke ass bitch the only thing I can think about is why I’m being denied the means to buy pretty things. Here’s my current list of demands.
As much as his first men’s collection under Saint Laurent Paris wound me up, I still really appreciate Hedi as a photographer. Available from LN-CC.
This is probably as summery as I’ll get, tbh. Available at Topshop
Airtex is summery, right? From The Ragged Priest
Givenchy Black Dahlia Noir.
I know, I know, another day, another dungaree. This pleather bad boy is from Miss Selfridge.
KFC Boneless Banquet. Don’t judge me.