In recognition of Christmas, a time where I can ease off on buying myself presents for being amazing and let other people do it, here’s part one of 25 things it’s a crying shame that I don’t own yet. Hint hint.
World Champion dress by Pero, from Primitive
Is there actually anything better than a sport-luxe maxi dress, conveniently oversized allowing for maximum Christmas-binge potential without having to resort to the boxing day elasticated waist of shame? No? Thought not.
As Seen in Blitz: Fashioning 80s Style, from Amazon
My first and most enduring fashion-era obsession, I bloody love a bit of 80s clubkid fashion history. I found this first in Paperchase, randomly, but it’s a seriously dense, well written and beautifully illustrated book. I’m usually a bit wary of fashion-era compendiums as I find they’re ususally thin on actual fashion theory/history and more ‘Wikipedia page illustrated by Tumblr’-esque, but this is definitely worth a read, and another, and another.
Banging parka, ASOS
I love a parka! However I’m not sure parkas love me. I’m half German, and instead of the Heidi Klum, Claudia Schiffer flavour of genes, I got the other flavour: short* with a torso about four inches long, and no waist. I’m definitely more rugby player than runway. Anyway, body hang-ups aside [CRYING], this parka actually looks pretty good on. It makes the most of my legs, is ridiculously warm and a bit Rick Owens-esque (never a bad thing), and at £100 is definitely not bad for a winter coat that will actually last.
*(though still average height in 27 countries, according to Wikipedia, just saying)
Nasir Mazhar jumper from Primitive
Ugh. I bloody love a spicy jumper. Great neckline, multi-textured, really pleasing colour combinations, quilting. Obsessed. Also, #anecdote, I’ve met Nasir and he was literally one of the nicest, babest people ever, which definitely does actually make me feel better about handing over £300 odd quid.
RuPaul! from Bristol based babe African Apparel
I’m a bigger fan of RuPaul than I am of Beyonce, but I’m an even bigger fan of a spicy black and white t-shirt. This has the added benefit of NOT being sold in Topman, UO or any other menswear-by-numbers-slogan-tshirt chain store, which means you’re not going to see 10,000 of them across the dancefloor over the festive period, which is a Christmas miracle in itself.
Popes aren’t famed for their outfit variety. With Pope Benedict the XIV’s abdication being the first for over 600 years, the next Pope to have his name pulled out of the Goblet of Fire could really make his mark by being a bit more sartorially adventurous.
This outfit repetition throughout history is, frankly, a bit embarrassing. Here’s Pope Paul III and Pope Leo X, hundreds of years between them yet they appear to be wearing the actual same outfit. Awks.
However, I did find one shiny beacon of Pope-hope, check out Justinian I here, he appointed three popes around the year 500, very Dolce and Gabbana SS13.
If only Benedict XIV had stuck around a bit longer, Gok Wan could’ve thrown him through the haberdashery at John Lewis like he does with everyone else, cries of “whack a belt around it!” and “bangers!” ringing in his ears for years after. . I suppose it’s like a lot of jobs, in that you have to hand in your uniform and name badge when you leave. Does he actually have any clothes of his own
other than a nazi uniform? I’m guessing he doesn’t have much, which leaves the door open for a whole lot of shopping. Hopefully he can take inspiration from my lovingly created post-papal moodboards:
POPE ON THE TILES
Now this is definitely a hard look to beat. What could possibly replace this lovely smoky handbag? This is also a very important health message about the dangers of being at a club and trying to hide your lit cigarette in your handbag.